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Indenting is a process of comparison. For example: Approaching someone versus skydiving. H ave I Accomplished This Before? P rojection — Think about what you could gain from doing this thing. This will help propel you to actually doing it. Go out, face your fears, and build up your confidence. Generalized anxiety and worry will absolutely sap you of confidence and energy. The feelings are usually associated with chest tightness, shortness of breath, and just feeling uneasy. There are umbrella terms like generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety, but everyone feels anxiety slightly differently and under different circumstances because of their emotional make-ups and past.
These expectations make you feel nervous, which prevents you from moving forward. There are two types of anxiety and worry: Chronic and acute. Acute anxiety is caused by certain periods or events in life, and eventually goes away. The tools presented in this chapter will help you deal with both so you can be strong and confident in facing whatever life throws at you. When it comes to anxiety and worry, meditation and mindfulness are essential.
Focus on trying to do 30 minutes of seated meditation a day, as well as while walking around in life. Again, anxiety and fear are interrelated. Go back to the section on fear to help you with this. Talk to a trusted friend, counselor, therapist or someone whom you know will understand or try to understand. Having support will catapult you in life, and literally melt your anxiety and worry away.
You probably rush a lot in life. Taking 5 minutes for yourself, just to sit and be without Facebook, a phone, or distractions is meant to protect against this type of thought pattern. Sit or stand wherever you are and just be, meditating with eyes open or eyes closed. Realize that any thoughts you have of not doing enough, things coming crashing down, etc.
A great deal of anxiety is caused by you worrying about something going wrong, the bus being late, and so on. The problem is that as you do this, both your life and health are slipping away with no time to enjoy them. Conquering your anxiety and worry will make you more confident, as you can handle both. Self-criticism and negative self-talk are two of the worst problems in the mind that you need to learn how to conquer.
They will completely destroy, erode, and corrupt your confidence and self-esteem. Those with high self-esteem and self-confidence treat themselves well, and talk to themselves in a kind way. Criticism and wanting to be better is fine, as long as they are both constructive forces in your life, not destructive forces making you feel like crap.
As mentioned in the negative thinking section, gratitudes can also help with negative self-talk because they help you focus on being grateful rather than focusing on problems. Anytime you hear yourself being mean when something occurs, try replacing the thought with positive self-talk. Be a friend to yourself rather than your worst critic and see how it changes your life. In the one life you have, strive to be kind to yourself.
For example: Can you tell good stories? Do you look people in the eye? Do people laugh a lot with you? Do people come to you for help on certain things? To cut through this, make a compliments document.
Start by asking 5 people to tell you the 5 best things they admire about you. Always keep adding to this document over time so you can go back and read it when you feel down, or when you need a boost of self-esteem. At times, you may need some additional support to work with your mind.
You may have been through traumatic experiences that just keep you from working through things on your own or seeing a way out. Even strong and successful people go to therapy or work with life coaches to get through challenging decisions and times in life. It can save you hours of stress and sadness while moving you on your way to becoming more confident and happy. Your body and how you stand are the first things someone sees about you. People may not give you a shot unless you have confident body language.
My Mission Statement
Watch this TED talk about how important body language is here. How is it that you can often tell when a person is sad, lying or happy just by looking into their eyes? Holding eye contact projects dominance instead of submissiveness. When someone holds their eyes wide open and refuses to look away from you? Good eye contact involves your eyes being at a reasonable level of openness or slightly closed.
You should be thinking of outputting warm, inviting, and intriguing energy. Watch movies with confident actors and actresses to see how they make eye contact with others.
Their eyes are slightly squinted, warm, and penetrating. Study what these people do and try to imitate them in the mirror, then go practice making eye contact with people that way. For example: Think about making a sad face versus a confident smile. What do you think people would find more appealing?
Always try to add a hint of a smile to your eye contact to put others at ease around you. You can emulate this too! Going to the gym will improve your overall posture and support system. See the health and exercise section coming up. Crossing your arms portrays a stubborn or closed-off attitude to others. Try to keep your arms at your sides.
A positive attitude makes a better student
Stand firm with your chest up and out. Doing this sub-communicates a lack of confidence or anxiousness to get out of there. Plant your feet in place wherever you are and try not to shift too much.
This is something men are really bad at: keeping their hands in their pockets. Again, keep your hands at your sides so you can use hand gestures and be free flowing. Yeah, neither does anyone else, except that the person gave a horrible first impression. Smiling sub-communicates confidence, happiness, and being warm and engaging. Smile more, it takes less muscles than frowning and will give people a good impression of you.
How to Be Confident: The Complete Guide
Have you ever noticed that powerful people, like politicians, movie stars, and so on, usually emphasize points by touching others on their shoulders, elbows, and so on? Touch is associated with dominance and demonstrates being comfortable. It sub-communicates confidence, so when you talk, emphasize your points by touching the other person.
Be careful not to overdo this though. A tasteful amount demonstrates confidence, but doing it unnecessarily is creepy and can be seen as try-hard. It only takes 30 minutes a day to get the benefits. Our stagnant, chained-to-a-desk lifestyle is taking us away from what our bodies were meant to do: Move and be active, chase animals, forage, and so on. Lifting weights helps build a stronger and more supported body.
Her genetics will help her become a proportionally lean, toned, sexier version of herself. Cardio helps your heart become stronger, and teaches you to breathe properly.
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HIIT high intensity interval training is a great way to get going, but you could also consider taking different classes like kickboxing, cycling, dance classes, and more. Most of us sit at desks all day and this creates all types of problems with our posture and strength. Yoga can help you re-align yourself, improve balance, make you stronger and it also acts as a stress reducer through moving meditation.